10 things I’ve Learned Since Becoming a Stay at Home Mom

DISCLAIMER: I know that ALL moms have challenges. This is not about who has it harder or anything like that. This is just what I have experienced in my year as a stay at home mom.

Before I started staying home with my son, I thought I was going to have it made. My vision was that we could stay in jammies and cuddle all day. And that I would have all this free time to get everything done that I wanted to. This is far from reality. Here is what I’ve discovered about being a SAHM over the last year. 

  1. It is actually really exhausting to stay home with your baby. Wayyy more than I thought it would be. Between chasing him around the house all day to dealing with tantrums and ever changing schedules, I’m drained by the end of the day. 
  2. Once you get the hang of a routine, it changes. You’ll get something down and then your baby will decide it’s time to change it up! You finally get a nap schedule down, then BAM. Baby doesn’t want to nap at that time anymore. Or at all.. You can work for weeks on establishing a daily routine just for it to be undone in one day.
  3. You don’t just stay in your jammies all day. I mean, I guess you can. But you’ll probably go crazy. I’m someone who craves routine and even though I’m not getting up and going into work everyday, I still need to get up and get dressed so I feel like I accomplished something!
  4. You will need to find something that is for you and you only. It’s easy when you’re staying home to start to lose yourself. Just because you’re staying home all day doesn’t mean you can’t spend nap times working out, reading, or doing whatever it is that you want to do. It’s SO important to take time for yourself or you will burn out QUICK. 
  5. It does get lonely sometimes. People would always tell me that I would crave adult conversation and would be dying to get back to work. I didn’t think that would happen to me. But honestly, I’ve had plenty of those kinds of days. Sometimes I miss going to work and socializing with my coworkers. Sometimes we get out and go to the store (while not under quarantine) just so I can talk to another adult. But this is where finding mom groups and making connections with other stay at home moms is helpful!
  6. It’s great to have expectations, but it’s okay if you don’t meet them. As parents, we all have expectations for ourselves. But it’s important to remember that kids are unpredictable, and we have to be flexible. I’ve fallen into the trap of thinking that because I was home all day I should have gotten all the chores done. It’s okay if you somehow didn’t get all the laundry and dishes done. Maybe your little one had a rough day and demanded all of your attention and you didn’t get to it. Maybe you required some extra down time. Give yourself some grace. The chores will get done.
  7. It can be hard on your psyche to stay home. I’ve done a lot of reflecting about this. I’ve always been a workaholic, so leaving my job to be a SAHM was HARD for me. Like really hard. I had a hard time finding my worth for a while. I felt like I wasn’t contributing to my family if I wasn’t working (which I should have known is CRAZY.) I spent a lot of time explaining myself to others when they found out I was staying home with my son. It wasn’t because they were looking down on me, it was because I was looking down on myself. It took me a long time to be confident in my decision and not shame myself for wanting to be home with my son while he’s little. It’s okay to stay home. It’s okay not to stay home. We should all support each other’s decision and be happy with ourselves in whatever choice we make. 
  8. Every day is different. So if you’re having a bad day, it’s okay. When you wake up in the morning it’s another chance to own it. Embrace each day, enjoy each day. These little ones will only be little for so long (it goes fast!) So it’s important to slow down and cherish the little moments. 
  9. You can teach your little one whatever and however you want. Because you’re with them all day, you can take opportunities throughout the day to teach them the way that you want! 
  10. I love this job and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I know that it’ll look back and be happy that I did this. I have my whole career ahead of me. But for right now, for these next few years, I plan to be at home with my son. I will cherish every moment that I get to be with him and I feel so lucky and blessed that I have this opportunity. 

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